Re-imagine flamboyant weddings or…

Many women dream of a wedding hatched in heaven, a fancy world where if they were men themselves, they would say their partner was ambitious for asking them to something beyond their buying power.

But because they aren’t a man, they still pressure their partner to have a high-end wedding, one held in an exotic lush green garden, or the beachside of Lake Malawi, or a magnificent hotel while donning dresses and suits tailored for a roughly 3-hours but a lifetime event.

As if that isn’t enough, they picture themselves being chauffeured in luxury cars, unfortunately to the envy of singles and the ex-es who wrote them off.

That’s how women are so obsessed with high-end weddings.

But times have changed, there’s a new reality that we must come to terms with, or we face the consequences.

Nowadays, it’s extravagantly expensive to organize a glossy wedding because of an economic meltdown Malawi has found itself in. Everything has gone sky-high.

Therefore, we must adjust to this new reality and ask ourselves hard but necessary questions about whether to have or not have a glitzy wedding.

It’s a personal decision relative to one’s financial stamina, but in a country where the majority live on less than a dollar a day, a flamboyant wedding is a costly decision given the prevailing situation.

But where would be world be without options?

Presently, eloping and cohabiting are as trendy as ever. But the clamor to formalize it or avoid kugwetsedwa ku mpingo, these two options aren’t good.  

So, consider the following.

First, organize a reasonably low-cost wedding. They say little things can still make you happy and so it is true when one arranges a fairly low budget wedding. Don’t overstretch yourself because consequently, you will pay the price. Some brides and grooms struggle with loan sharks (akatapila) because they organized a high-end wedding with borrowed money. For what, exactly?

Secondly, invite people who matter to your wedding. Although others may find it unsettling, the reality is that times have changed. Gone are the days when the bride and groom would chauffer family members to town just to eat and drink. No, they must pay for their travel expenses if they want to take part in the celebration. Bothering the bride and groom for transport after a wedding reception is a burden because they spent more.

Third, go the civil way. This is the cheapest but less favorable option to get married. All you need is to the civil registry at any court in Malawi or district commissioner (DC) with two witnesses from both sides. A judicial officer or the DC administers an oath and in less than 30 minutes, you become Mr. and Mrs. X. Simple. You don’t need to put up a glanderous ceremony.

Fourth, settle for a traditional wedding. Because of our mindset, we think chikhonswe isn’t a form of a wedding. But this traditional wedding was practiced for millennia before Europeans came to colonize us. Largely due to Judeo-Christian believes, we have been brainwashed to discredit it as against Christianity and its teachings. But if one satisfies all the traditional requirements, you are good to go. You formalize it by registering your marriage at the court.

Times have changed and the sooner we adjust, the better. Let’s revisit some of the things that say are the right ways of doing business. So, re-imagine flamboyant weddings or be ready to bear the consequences thereof.